Flash Back

Major Ranjit Bhonsale was leaving for Australia and he deserved a farewell fit for the Maharajah of Gwalior. He had a late night dentist appointment and I had to take my mother to the diabetologist so we decided to meet after 10 pm that night. We home in on Jug heads which is the Maharaja’s favorite monsoon hangout joint. I reach there at 11 book a table for 4 get a waiting time of 25 minutes. The Maharaja shows up in shorts which nearly prevented me from writing this blog. Adjoining Jug heads there were two more pubs slice of lime and fever. The waiting time at slice of lime was 10 minutes so we decide to try our luck at fever. We go there negotiate the cover charges, but he says sir I’m sorry shorts ain’t allowed and we turn to go, the shorts nearly saved my soul but the devils daughter had another plans. We go back and negotiate the shorts, they let us in.

The joint sucked as far as music was concerned. They were playing remixed Bhangra numbers on a Saturday night; it couldn't get worse than that. We decide to exhaust the cover and head out as the rats were having a sports meet in out tummies. Goti and Major settle for vodka with sprite and I do the unthinkable I go for a cocktail called flash back which roughly contained vodka, white rum, tequila and my blood red bull. The drink tasted great it came in tumbler. We tried dancing but that just wouldn’t do, those were the worst numbers I have ever shaken my left feet too. We order another round to exhaust our cover and as we were about to leave, the DJ pulls a fast one on us. He begins to play MJ. We had to pay the great legend our tribute and we indulged in those nostalgic MJ moves. So in all fairness we order another round of drinks. I hadn’t realized that I had taken it too far. As we had the third round the music began to stink again. So we gulp down the last bit and head out to eat.

It was 1.30 then and jug heads wouldn’t entertain us, we decided to go to Vindondas or it was called something like that. I couldn’t walk straight my legs were in a world of their own. Once at vindondas all hell break loose. I start loosing control of my motor functions at an alarming rate. I want to throw up and I head to the wash room. The wash room was a world of its own, it was an Indian style and dirty. I couldn’t stand I collapsed. Pukes right up my in my mouth and I could taste flash back all over again. I try to miss my jeans as I empty my gut, but I end up spilling some over them, next instant I collapse on the floor, in that pee and remains of human excreta. I was hopping one of these guys comes rescues me and Goti knocked. I some how unlocked the door he helped out to the table we had occupied I collapse again. Major hands me a glass of water and then lime juice which I gulp down but to no relieve. The kind waiter suggest I go lie down on in a make shift store room. I puke again. I wish I had eaten something at least my puke would have had flavour and colour.

Ranjit is holding me up and motivating me to sit up I want to follow his instructions but my body just wouldn’t respond. The only sense that was active was my ears. I keep telling them I cannot go home and just couldn’t go home were I’m considered a teetotaler and looked up too. Goti decides to take me too his place, he says his parents are chill and I could spend the night there in that aberrated state. But I still had the last trick up my drunken sleeve. I puke at the entrance of his building much to annoyance of the stray mongrels around who protested with loud howls. I could have scored a couple of bitches in his building as the puke was a sure sign of canine masculinity.

Poor Goti wipes my puke of my face while major takes of my shoe. They lay me on a sofa and drape me in the warmest blanket ever. I’m sure these guys must have taken a few photographs to help me remember the night in a flash back. I woke up at seven in the morning where I notice Goti junior rambling around, look down and I see Goti sleeping like he would never wake up again. I jerk him up he wakes startled and wants me to stay for breakfast. But I have my morning appointments and I had to rush. I bid goodbye and take the legacy of last night with me a splitting headache. As I travel home, the whole night foments into words in my head and I had to have one last puke.